you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize