Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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