ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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