I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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