If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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