apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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