his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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