Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize