did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize