Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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