I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize