Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize