well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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