Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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