why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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