i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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