1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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