Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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