Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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