I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize