the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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