last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may now shotgun with the bride
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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