got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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