I'm eating all of the evidence.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize