I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize