The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize