Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
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I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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