Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
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Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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