Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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