i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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