then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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