I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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