I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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