I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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