The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
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Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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