let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
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The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
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So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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