i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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