So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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