I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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