hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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