Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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