Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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