the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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