There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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