Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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