A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize