Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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