Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have post one night stand depression
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