my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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