She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Randomize